Good morning, Tea Sipping Bookworms! Happy Sunday! I hope your weekend is going well and that the spoken word that I am sharing today enchants your Sunday. The poem's title is, "The Help". Tap play to hear me loosely recite "The Help" and read the inspiration behind this poem below.
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"The Help" is a poem inspired by one of the last conversations that my ex husband and I had during our separation. He wrote me an email (yeah, an email...) and explained that perhaps he had underestimated my ability to receive the reality and help him with the issues that he had been coping with. He thought I was too fragile to handle the truth.
I thought this was an amazing perspective, considering all that we had been through and all that he had witnessed me endure. He had seen me do so many things that required strength in our 10 year marriage. I endured his family's neglect and unkindness. For a large portion of our marriage they pretended like I didn't exist and did not truly welcome me into the family; I endured this with as much grace as possible while still extending love. I suffered through depression, a debilitating illness, that tried to rob me of myself and my identity; I battled depression while still striving to maintain my responsibilities as a wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc. I mourned the death of my nephew and, when no one else had the courage to do so, I changed his clothing for the wake. To this day, I still think about his little lifeless body and my trying to be gentle as a way of paying deep respects to a life that should have lived. I also think of my ex husband standing in the corner staring at me as I removed a little cap, socks, and a onesie exposing an incision on his tiny chest from the autopsy. I will never forget that incision and I cry as I write this, because this is still deeply troubling to me.
And amongst other things, I helped my ex husband build the life he wanted, making sacrifices willingly and lovingly. But he thought I was too weak to handle the truth. He thought I needed his help. How could he have such a perspective, after all that he had seen?
"The Help" is an imaginary conversation that I had with my ex in response to his false view of his wife. If only he had known my true nature, what and who I was for and to him, and what I was truly capable of, then maybe he would not have taken me for granted and given himself a reason for a lifetime's worth of regret.
I Don't Need Your Help, Because I Am The Help
Were You Confused, A Bit Amused, Perhaps Unenthused
When I Refused Your Offer Of Help?
Well, I Don't Need Your Help, Because I Am The Help
You Try To Tell Me What I Need
And I Find This Comical
How Can The Needy Provide What's Needed?
I Don't Need You
You Need Me
I Was Created For You
I Don't Need Your Help
Because I Am Your Help
I Can Help You Grow
Help You Know
Help You Be A Man
Help You Understand
Help You Plant The Seeds
That Grow Into Mighty Trees
Help You Multiply Yourself, With My Wombs Wealth
Oh Don't You Know, Won't You Know?
That I Don't Need Your Help
Because I Am The Help?
Tea & Poetry, Darling is a series that highlights new sips and my expressions about womanhood (and my divorce LOL). If you would like to share your tea with Tea Sipping Bookworms then send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org!
What feminine strengths do you think go unnoticed?